Symptom Dump
Inconstant Memory Issues
Info
- I’ll know I’m looking for something but have no idea what I’m looking for
- Forgetting thought mid-sentence. Sometimes mid word. I’ll have full clarity leading up to it, then… blank. Folks note the look of confusion on my face
- I’m regularly shocked by the information know. I won’t be aware of it until after a conversation
- I fact check myself… And it’s accurate
- Flashbacks
Story
- Played and beat a 2-3 hour long video game with a friend. The following day I boot up the same game to continue playing to my friends confusion. It took an argument and nearly an hour to come to terms with the fact that I only remembered booting it up. In my mind (still today) I only played for about 20 minutes before going to bed…
- Not relating to actions or thought process from previous Hour, week, day.
- No consistency in interval
- Full notes I don’t remember
- Notes ending mid word all over the place
- Completely differing authorial voice. Thoughts I’d never had. Memories I don’t have.
- Notes in different handwriting back and forth in my personal journal. Different takes on the same experiences. Supportive, angry, sad.
- At times there are full sections scratched out
Eyesight changes
Risk Factors
- Repeated Traumatic Child hood events
- Premature birth
- Physical abuse as baby
Situational Values
- Generally I adopt the values of the person/people around me.
- Not in a fake way. I believe what I say. It’s not until much later through rumination do I start to find truths I don’t believe. I did in the moment…
Tremors
Depersonalization
- I can’t recognize my body as my own at times. At all.
- Feeling as though I can’t relate to emotional responses I am having/had
- Playing “pretend” to get through something (Well into adulthood)
- Complete shift in perspective in how I relate to the people around
- Unable to Feel joy during experiences I know make me happy.
- or feeling like I can only remember having fun in my memories but I can never feel that joy in the moment. At least in a way I can take ownership
- Like a second hand joy at best. Like watching your dog enjoy something
Derealization
- I can’t recognize my body as my own at times. At all.
- Feeling as though I can’t relate to emotional responses I am having/had
end for now
Odd Misc.
- I have completely different interests at times. When I loose the interest I loose the skill.
- When I’m interested I can/have mastered a wide verity of skills. At times to a degree it feels as though I’ve already practiced
- At times I can experience 3 distinctly differing experiences all at once. Down to my soul, simultaneously.
Inconsistent Reactions to medication
Inconsistent eating patterns
- Foods will taste completely different at times. Not always good or bad, but distinctly different. Like a different mouth. I’ll crave stuff I’ve never had. (I’m a very habitual eater and tend to cycle through 5-6 “acceptable” familiar foods at a time. One day you wake up and a set of the items shift or I cant eat any of it all
Symptoms consistent with temporal focal epilepsy. Memories (new/old) going back to childhood
Emotional Dysregulation
- 3 second shift from literally ready to die, to bubbly, and energetic (like literally not drowsy at all)
- literally unaware of why I was upset or what was going through my head prier